10 Questions

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Host of “Inside the Actor’s Studio” James Lipton, always asks his guests the same 10 questions.  Recently, while remembering Cory Monteith’s visit he mentioned that when he asked him the question about what God would say when he got to heaven and Cory’s cryptic response was “Uh, sorry I haven’t been around. There’s a good explanation.'”

It broke my heart to read that.  To think someone has lived his life thinking that God hasn’t been there.  And no one was there to tell him otherwise.   And now, he’s dead at 31 and he’s left a family and a girlfriend with a grief that nothing but God can fill.   It made me sad.  Then I started wondering what I hoped God would say to me when I get to heaven.   I tried to come up with these profound statements and yet the only thing I could come up with was, “You’ve made it.  You’re okay now.”

What will God say to YOU when you arrive in heaven?

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In the News

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This week has been busy with news and every one of them teaches a lesson for all of us.

PaulaDeen2012 Celebrity chef, cooking show host, restaurateur, and author, Paula Deen, has found herself right in the middle of some big time controversy for racial slurs that she admitted to using decades ago.  I won’t rehash what’s happening (that’s what we have Google for).  I think the most obvious lesson to take from this is that no matter how much you change your life, no matter what you try to fix and make better, your past will always haunt you.  It doesn’t matter how much money you have, how famous you are — it will always come back.   Whatever you have sown, you will reap.  It will all catch up to you.  I’m not saying don’t have a past — EVERYONE has a past.  EVERYONE has skeletons.  What I’ve learned from Deen is that nothing I do will cover it up.  It will always find a way to come out.   The other thing I learned from this situation is that people will never forget your past.  Never.   There are always going to be people who will say “I remember when you were like this, you did this, or you said this…”  There will always be people who will lord it over you because reminding you of your past mistakes makes them feel better.   When you’re successful or doing good things, someone has to be the party pooper.   Be prepared for that.  Don’t expect everyone to be in your corner.  Because 9 times out of 10, there is someone sitting there writing down all the things you used to be/do/say and ready to pull that list out when it suits them the most.

A 23-year old rising star on the New England Patriots has also found himself in hot water.  This, though, url-213could cost him his freedom.   Aaron Hernandez was arrested and charged with murder on Wednesday.  I don’t know what’s more sad: the fact that a guy is dead, the fact that a GUN has killed someone AGAIN, or the fact that this kid who was just offered $40 MILLION dollars felt so invincible that killing someone was so EASY to do.  I can get on my “gun” soapbox, but where will that bring any of us?  People will never get it.  It’s so easy to say that guns are safe, but when someone in THEIR family dies from a gun, they’ll never get it.   I’m sad that this guy who was shot, whatever his part in this was, has died.  He wasn’t “just” a guy — he was somebody’s son, brother, father, friend.  I’m disgusted that this kid, Hernandez, has an 8-month old baby who will grow up to know that her father killed someone all because he was “mad”.  She’ll grow up without a father figure in her life. This story just reminds us all the repercussions that ONE choice — ONE LITTLE CHOICE— can have on everyone around you.

p8-4A historic decision was made by the Supreme Court this week.  The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), the law that barred the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriages, was found to be unconstitutional. I will warn you now:  I am THRILLED about this decision.  I am a Christian who loves God and has dreams of serving Him for the rest of my days.  I also have friends that are gay and love them unconditionally.  I also believe that they should have the same rights as every other person in this world.   People are so afraid of anything that is DIFFERENT.  If it doesn’t look, sound, or feel like everything else around them, then they don’t want anything to do with it.   I will never understand why people believe that being gay was a choice.  When I hear of the pain and struggles, emotionally/mentally/spiritually, that my friends go through dealing with being gay, I can’t imagine someone CHOOSING this.   Lord knows if I had a CHOICE, being East Indian wouldn’t be my first choice. But, no matter, congratulations to all my friends who can now have the same rights as the straightees.  Maybe you’ll be better at marriage than the rest of us!

Alec Baldwin made headlines this week.  He and his wife attended the funeral of Sopranos’ star James alec-baldwin-600Gandolfini (RIP).  Allegedly, while in attendance, his wife’s twitter was being updated throughout the funeral.  A writer from Mail Online wrote an article about it and then Alec lost his shizznat.   He went on this huge twitter rampage where he called the guy a “queen” and went on to threaten this guy.   Listen, I am an Alec Baldwin fan.  His comedic timing is incredible and the fact that he rarely breaks character is pretty impressive. He’s spot on.  But the dude needs to CHILLAX.  He is SO busy trying to fight EVERY PAPARAZZI and EVERY GOSSIP COLUMNIST it’s just exhausting — and I’m just READING about it.   Dude, you can’t win. You’re just giving them more ammo.  Now, not only have you given them more reason to write about you, you’ve offended the gays.  They were having a good week, too!  I get that you want to defend your wife’s integrity.   Why wouldn’t you just be mature and come out with a statement explaining WHY her Twitter was being updated?  Wouldn’t that be more logical?    Alec, bud, take it from someone who has learned the hard way — don’t lose your cool over people and things that aren’t worth your time.  You’re married. You’re about to have a baby.  You just buried a friend.   Focus on what you have.  Not what people are saying about you.  Welcome to the world of celebrity.  You’d think you’d have learned that when you were with what’s-her-name (Kim Basinger).

That’s all for this week, folks!

Here’s hoping next week is full of more life lessons 🙂

Grumpy Old (Wo)Man

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Today marks just one month until I am officially 30.  And I think I spent most of my day complaining about where I live, what I do, and the people around me.

Which makes me sad…….for me.  Because I never envisioned myself turning into this person.  This is not how I want to live the rest of my life.  And what makes me sadder is that I have no idea how to CHANGE this.  Also, it makes me upset that I’m spending most of my time complaining about what my life LACKS when the truth of the matter is, my life is full of so much good that I am supremely blessed beyond measure.

This week the world was rocked with the devastating events in Boston and Texas, as well as around the globe, with deadly earthquakes in Iran and China.  While families deal with the aftermath and try to rebuild their lives from having it shaken to the very core — I am complaining about the fact that I still live in the same state for 27 years or that I have a good job with steady income, and that I’m surrounded by a community of Indians that I’m not too pleased about being around.   God, how petty I am.

If I want to change my life, then nothing is stopping me.  I could change it.  I can always make excuses or say that I don’t take risks because of the fear of the unknown, and although that is halfway true, the other (harsh) reality is that maybe I don’t take a risk because the safe choice is to stay where I am, doing what I’m doing.  It’s a lot easier to complain about life than to actually change it.

It’s true when they say that you get mad at the choices other people make because you’re frustrated with your own life.  Just this morning I was talking about a girl who is my age that is still acting like she was in high school and I kept throwing the word “stunted” around.  The truth of the matter is, in a way, I am stunted as well.

Stunted means to retard the growth or development of.  Here I am, almost 30, and I’ve missed so many opportunities to get out and experience life.  And instead of being proactive, I’m stuck at this place of resentment, where complaining is more comfortable than changing.  We’re all stunted in some ways — some refuse to grow up, I refuse to change.

If that’s the case, then I have no right to complain.  Instead, I should look at my life, be grateful for what I’ve been given so freely and undeservingly, and live my life in gratitude of it.   All while keeping that line of the Serenity Prayer in the back of my head:

God grant me the serenity 
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.