I’ve gone 4 days without updating this year. That’s not a good sign, is it?
I wish I could say I’ve spent the first 4 days of the new year doing something amazing. But, all I did was stay at home and do nothing. I did spend a productive morning watching the new Hunger Games movie…..if that counts for world-changing?
I also spent the first couple days of 2014 (and NYE) complaining about my life and how miserable I felt. And then, at 3am on Thursday night, I just got SICK of feeling so MISERABLE. The whole last year was spent complaining and filling myself with resent, anger, and hate (self + others) that I’ve turned into the worst person ever. It’s even evident in my blog posts. I just can’t spend another 365 days drowning in that anymore.
So, I just picked up my Kindle and found a book from some unknown author, Cherie Hill, titled “Waiting on God”. I started reading it like I was starving and couldn’t put it down! It was speaking to me in so many ways about being in this frustrating “waiting place” (see: Dr. Seuss’ “Oh the Places You’ll Go” for reference) and why I’m here and what I should do while I’m here.
Where was this book a year ago, right?
I’m not saying that I’ve stopped complaining and I’m the happiest person ever — but I am determined to change my mindset. Because even though I can’t change my situation or circumstances (or my surroundings, for that matter), I can change how I look at it. I can either see it from the perspective of my window from the waiting place or I can look up and trust that God sees everything else outside of this waiting place…….and trust that when He’s ready to open the door and let me out, He will.
Here’s hoping that in 361 days, if I’m still in the waiting place, that I’m still as hopeful as I am today.