California Dreams and Revelations.

Last night I returned from a week-long vacation in California with my sister. We spent the first 3 days in Anaheim, visiting Disneyland and then spent the rest of our time in lovely South Pasadena.  I made lots of observations and came to lots of resolutions for myself, some of which I will share here.   If you are from California, please do not get offended as I loved it there. The weather was total perfection (well, it was while I was there:)).  I could definitely do without the ridiculous traffic and, just an observation, people in Oklahoma are a lot nicer and friendlier.   I even noticed that on the plane back to OKC.  They were more willing to talk to others and joke around.  But to/from Cali? Not so much.

Okay, here goes the things I learned/observed while I stayed in Cali….

  1. I have no love in my heart for young people aged 15-24.  They’re loud, obnoxious, and can be rude.  They’re overdramatic, selfish, and have no regard for others.  Yes, I was probably all of those things and more when I was this age.  I am not denying it.  What I am saying is that I don’t like that age. I know that this is a large age group AND I also know that it’s unfair because I know many people who are 21-24 years old who are none of those things.   But for the most part, they are.  And I don’t like them.   So when my kids are in this time frame, I will be living in a cabin in the woods.
  2. Disneyworld > Disneyland.   Disneyland may be the original one, but it’s not the family friendly place I was expecting it to be.  When you land in Orlando, you FEEL the excitement of Disney.  There are posters, there are tour guides, there are buses.  When you get on the Disney buses, Disney music or movies are played. Streets are lined with posters of Disney.  Even the tree shrubs and bushes are shaped in mouse ears.   You get to the hotel and you can feel it in the air.   The happiness.  The excitement.   When we went to Orlando NOTHING stopped us from going when the park opened at 7am and staying until it closed at 11pm.   Because we didn’t want to miss a THING.   Disneyland?  Not so much.  No posters. No music.  No excitement.   I wasn’t thrilled about it.
  3. If there was any doubt, I am officially a crotchety old woman.  I had no patience for those gosh-darned kids and the ridiculous lines.  I got irritated with the stupid >not naming a specific subgroup of people< who would stand in these lines and not fill the space ahead of them. So instead of moving up, they’d just stand around and let the gap get bigger–and bigger.   There was even one time where people wouldn’t fill it because they didn’t want to stand in the sun, they wanted to stay under the umbrella that was giving some shade.   Meanwhile, there are other people who are behind them and all the way towards the end who have been in the sun longer than they have and needed shade.  I mean, it’s just stupid!
  4. I have to get out of Oklahoma.  Yesterday.
  5. You can take the girl out of the small-town, but you can’t take the small-town out of the girl.  I really thought I could move to California, even South Pasadena.  But I don’t think I can.  I loved the weather.  And I loved that there are so many things to do, lots of which we didn’t even get to do.   But I don’t think I’d fit there.   I like the small-town kind of thing.   I don’t like that I will have to give an extra hour to a trip just because the traffic on the highway is at a stand-still for NO reason.   But, I like that you can walk around to different places.   I like the city at night when people are out and about, eating at restaurants, shopping at stores.  So, I have to cross California off the list and start my search for another place to live.  Any suggestions?
  6. I have a lot to fix.  A lot more than I realized.  A resounding theme I heard a lot in myself was, “If I don’t like me, or want me, or accept me, then how will anyone else?”
  7. No matter who you are, how old you are, where you are, or how independent you portray yourself to be — EVERYONE is seeking validation. “Do you see me?  Can you hear me?” (Oprah) I saw so many people who would do anything for it.  Dress too provocatively at a theme park for families, no less.  Alter personalities when they get the slightest attention from the opposite sex.  They’re (including me) seek validation from someONE else.  I saw myself in certain people I observed.   I suddenly realized how desperate I looked, how hard I was trying to be something I’m not, and how empty I really felt inside.  At one point I even heard myself thinking, “Please see me. Please see me.”  All so I could FEEL better about myself.
  8. I need to be my own.  I have to cut the cord.  And as much as I want to say that others are holding me here, I have to admit that I am holding on to them, too.  It’s time to let go.
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