Cause in Your 20’s, You Know EXACTLY Who You Are

I consider myself an avid reader.  Since I was a little girl, I always loved to read.  My mom would take us to the library and I’d walk out with at least 20-30 books, finish them in a week, and repeat.   As one gets older, free time doesn’t come as easily as it did when you’re 8, but I still try to find time to read.

This morning I was thinking about the types of  books I have read over the years and how different my tastes have become.  When you’re 20, you’ve convinced yourself that you know exactly what you want and that’s how it’ll be.  For some reason, in my 20s, I convinced myself that I had become everything I was supposed to be — like I had reached the top of the mountain of “discovering me”, and this is who I’d be for the rest of my life.

Clearly, I was wrong.  On SO many levels.

(Goes back to one of my favorite questions, usually used in reference to twenty year olds who get married, but fits in quite nicely here: “WTF do you KNOW at 20?!?”)

For a long time, I was obsessed with pastor and author Max Lucado.  When I mean obsessed, I mean, if you came to my bookshelf you would most likely see 90% of his work.  Every time I caught wind of a new book, I was at Mardels (Christian bookstore) as they were stocking it on the shelf, buying it.   I remember an acquaintance was saying he didn’t like Lucado because of how simplistic he was in his message.  My counter-argument was “I love how SIMPLE his message is.  I don’t think theologically (who can at 20?), I need something easy, basic, and simple — but profound” and Lucado was just that.   I would start his books and wouldn’t put it down until I finished it.

But I bought his most recent book and I started it and never finished it.  That’s when I realized, I’ve outgrown my interest in Lucado.  It was nice while it lasted, though.

I also had a thing about novels.  In my mid-20’s I would read books by Jane Green or Sophia Kinsella and LOVE them. You know, those sappy love stories.  Single, hard-working girl who couldn’t find a man, then suddenly meets the man of her dreams, and by the end marries and lives happily ever after.    The biggest author I spent lots of hard-earned Pre-K teacher assistant on money is on, none other than one, Nicholas Sparks.   (That lying rat bastard. I want ALL my money back).  I have read almost ALL of his books.  In my mid-20’s, I ate that crap UP and was determined to move to scenic North Carolina, work at a mom-and-pop shop, and meet the love of my life on a dock of a lake.   We would also reenact the scene from the Notebook.   Then, during Christmas Break this past December, I decided to buy Sparks’ _Safe Haven_ for some light reading. I thought, that even though I’m older, I’d still enjoy it.

I almost threw my Kindle out the window.  I was so pissed off at the dumb book.  I was pissed at myself more for buying it, for thinking it would somehow be different than his other 200 books about the same thing.

What’s my point, you say?  Well, it’s that, I’m quickly learning that my interest is no longer in the “simple”.  I like books that are deeper and a little bit more gritty.   I randomly picked up Wally Lamb’s books (talk about hardcore), got into Khaled Hosseini (Kite Runner, anyone?), a big fan of Jhumpa Lahiri and Vikram Seth (East Indian fistbump!). I finished _Perks of Being a Wallflower_ a few weeks ago and enjoyed it.   I JUST finished _Silver Linings Playbook_ and couldn’t put it down.   When I’m in the mood for light-reading, authors like Tina Fey and Mindy Kaling have been my go-to books (although I made a HUGE mistake by purchasing the smut that is Brandi Glanville’s book. I do believe I lost a piece of my soul that day).

I was never a fan of books that Oprah promoted, I thought they were a bit much.  But as of late, I’ve thorougly enjoyed Dr. Brene’ Brown’s books and have been going on a highlighting rampage.

Basically, what I’m trying to say is……at 20 years old you don’t have the same interests and likes that you do at 30.   To me, that’s a sign of growing and changing, needing something more and different.   Just like I don’t want to eat baby food at 29, I don’t want to read books that don’t feed my soul in some way either, and speak to me where I’m at NOW.

This can also speak to my tastes in music (although I still love me some NSYNC even at 29), movies, tv shows……

and, unfortunately, even friendships (but I’ll save THAT for my next post).

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